vampireapologist:

you’re at a party at thor’s apartment and you go to get more drinks from the basement fridge and his weird brother is down there alone not drinking and just sitting on one of those couches that flatten out into futons and u don’t want to talk to him but now you’ve made eye contact and u feel bad for him bc clearly he’s doesn’t know how to function at parties so you awkwardly linger on the steps for five minutes and chat and go upstairs feeling you did something nice

then the next weekend at another party you go down to the basement and it’s been magically shifted into a full-service spa with uncomfortably erotic overtones and there are aliens there and a small brass band and thor’s weird brother is wearing a crown and telling a lively story about almost getting killed on a space ship once and everyone loves him

“what the fuck” you ask thor.

“yeah my brother’s only pathetic when he feels like it” he says