If a horse skeleton shows up at my door and challenges me to a rap battle, what should I do?

benito-cereno:

Here’s how it goes when the Mari Lwyd shows up:

First of all, she won’t be alone. She’ll have a whole team: the Leader, the Merryman, and Punch and Judy. 

They’ll knock on your door and drop a verse. You have to deny them entry, which I guess you could do in battle rap form. The Grey Mare will reply with a fresh verse. You will have to counter. You go back and forth until one of you runs out of rhymes (it will be you: like the Hiphopapotamus, the Grey Mare’s lyrics are bottomless).

At this point, you have to let them into your home and give them food and drink. Ale is the preferred drink. Once inside, the Mare is likely to make some trouble, snapping at children and such, but the Leader should mostly keep her in line. The Merryman should, in theory, play some tunes in exchange for ale and food. Make sure you explicitly tell Punch not to fuck with your fire, or he may rake it out with his poker or slapstick before they leave.

If you survive all that, great job! The Mare will be back next Christmas. Stock up on ale and/or rhymes!