gaslightgallows:

eliciadonze:

Every day I have to choose “is this person safe?”

Every day I have to choose whether to leave all these horrible posts and messages up on my blog so people will believe me—or take them down so I don’t lose followers, work, attract more hate, and watch my career get destroyed even further. Every day I have to do this all over again.

Every day I have to decide if it’s safe to block, report, or simply just ignore someone. Will they or their friends retaliate? Am I in danger?

Every day I have to decide if I should speak up or suffer alone.

Every time I make a drawing I have to decide if it’s safe to post. I have to take steps—I have a whole system of steps that I take to limit harassment. I don’t even think about it anymore; I’m so used to taking these steps just to not be hurt.

Every day I get told that I deserve to be raped or killed. Every day someone calls me a cunt, slut, whore, or bitch.

Every day someone tells me to kill myself. 

Every day someone says, “You’re a waste of talent.” 

Every day I cry.

Every day I cry at how normal this is and how accustomed to it I am.

Every day I imagine myself in five years, and I feel suicidal because I know nothing will get better. It hasn’t gotten better in the last five years.

Every day I watch my friends abandon me because I’m too much, not enough, or whatever else.

Every day someone says, “I can’t handle seeing the hate you deal with.” But I have to handle it.

Every day total strangers tell me what I have to do as if I’m not already doing enough.

I’ve had a couple of people demand to know ask why I keep speaking up for someone I don’t personally know. 

This is why.

I can’t prove that I’m safe but that’s not the point. 

I don’t know Elicia but that’s not the point. 

My comfort – our collective comfort – is not the point. Elicia’s is. And if we can’t give her that, then we are doing something wrong. 

All I can do is witness, and listen, and speak up when I can, and be here. Because my health and safety aren’t being endangered.

Because if she has to handle this then so do I. 

It’s the least I can do. It is the least any of us can do.

THISSSSSS ALL OF THIS OK?