kravitz was a bard when he was alive, but he never played an instrument—he just had his rhyming game on lock. the first time lup and barry see him lose his temper with a suspect and rip them apart using words that flow so fast they can hardly follow them, they lose their minds. kravitz is cool? how is kravitz cool?? this isn’t at all what they expected from taako’s narc boyfriend.
Please for the love of the Raven Queen talk to me more about rapping Kravitz I am so here for that shit. Like, Kravitz is so good at rapping his Vicious Mockery literally stuns opponents. Kravitz is so good at rapping that he regularly gets paid to do so at this neat little hole-in-the-wall in Neverwinter on Tuesdays. Kravitz is so good at rapping sometimes he’ll watch Taako from the bar in their kitchen and just start like, I dunno- rap narrating whatever Taako is making just to make Taako blush? KRAVITZ DOESNT NEED TO BREATH AND HE RAPS SO FAST BARRY BOUGHT A SOUNDBOARD AND ALL OF KRAVITZ’ MIC DROPS ARE ACCOMPANIED BY WELL TIMED EXPLOSIONS FROM LUP AND EVERY 7TH MISSION THEY SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES TO VICIOUSLY MOCK A NECROMANCER TO LITERAL DEATH THEIR ALBUM IS CALLED DED BEATZ IT COMES OUT NEXT FALL
i see your rap narrating whatever taako is making to make taako blush and a raise you rap narrating whatever taako is making because kravitz isn’t allowed in the kitchen ever since he somehow set a pot of boiling pasta on fire and he’s dying. there are so many people coming over tonight, taako. he can definitely handle chopping something, sitting there like, “taako from tv, turning up the heat in this kitchen. i’m just watching him cook because he won’t let me pitch in. see him wield his knives with ease, making apple tarts with cheese. if you don’t like my rhymes, love, let me help you out, please.”
taako throws apple slices at him until he stops.
Follow up to saying slam poetry is a bard attack: So are rap battles.
Published
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