Humans are Space Orcs “Venomous Saliva?”

thededfa:

starr-fall-knight-rise:

From the Intergalactic Journal of Biology and Mechanics

During the solar cycle of 14456 a replication study was
conducted by our scientists on the Intergalactic Congress Laboratory. The study
attempted to replicate an experiment from a previously published human study.
The results were a conclusive replication indicating that the human mouth
contains up to 200 species of microorganisms at a concentration of 1,000 to 1
billion on each dental protrusion (tooth).

Despite their out world classification as a class A-1
predator, on their own planet they meet a low classification of a D-8 predator or
a B-2 when factoring in their intelligence. For this reason, on their own
planet, the humans are not considered to be venomous despite the need for
immediate hospitalization upon receiving a bite from their own species.

Off planet their nature as an A-1 apex predator gives them a
subclass of a G-6 venom predator. Though their saliva is not dangerous when in
contact with open skin or carapace, immediate medical attention is required if
bitten or spit on. Areas of danger include the eyes nose mouth, or any other orifice
that allows access to the nervous system.

Additional literature on the subject indicates that
bacterial presence is used as a catalyst for breaking down food in the mouth.
Other bacteria exists within the gut to help with food processing. Without
bacterial assistance, food processing would be almost impossible for a human.
The nature of this mutualism inoculates the human against most off-world diseases.

A cautionary note: Species from the Gamma four sector are
advised to keep clear of humans all together as they are particularly susceptible
to human venom*.

*All non-human species are advised to avoid calling humans “Venomous”
as it may be seen as an insult. Humans do not see themselves as a particular
danger to others in this way.

 

At any other time, Krill might have been worried about their
present predicament, but after months of shenanigans with the humans including
almost dying more than once, the situation they were in now was almost
laughable.

Once again human reckless stupidity had brought them to
their knees before an angry group of Burg. Perhaps they would have made it out
alive if the “sass” of the Captain hadn’t inadvertently offended the leader of
the ship; an offence, which punishment was immediate execution.

Keep reading

That’s such a death worlder thought: “venom and bacteria aren’t the same thing”