cmkosemenillustrated:

As a child I was supremely inspired by science fiction films and made up hundreds of “space aliens” to populate an imaginary galaxy. My brother and I then play-acted adventures set in this fictitious realm.

My parents kept all my drawings; there are dozens upon dozens of pages, each populated with multitudes of aliens, complete with descriptions of every species and character.

Earlier this year I started putting together a portfolio of zany “trope” aliens, with the hopes of getting a gig designing aliens for a popular animated show. (Guess which?)

Instead of designing things from scratch, I decided re-draw ten characters from my childhood. Here they are, complete with original drawings and vitally-important attributes and descriptions.

Tri-Bots (1992)
– Actually a lego-like colony of semi-organic robots.
– Head robot gets to be the brain.
– If decapitated, they play a form of robotic “rock paper scissors” to elect the new leader.

Meta-Snake (1992-3?)
– Not a real snake, but a trans-dimensional entity that can slip between parallel universes.
– Glowing jaws help Meta-Snake open up portals between worlds.
– Its face is a fake face; Meta-Snake’s actual eyes are the pore-like things between its body segments.
– A sardonic character; refers to itself in the third person and speaks in riddles.
– Occasionally speaks backwards because it has a different concept of time.
– Can grant wishes, alter the universe and save you from the most dangerous situations… but can you really trust it?

Ogrenas (1995)
– A scary-looking insect-reptile with a heart of gold.
– Misunderstood and shunned, actually very kind and harmless.
– Its species lives in big hives; glowing eyes can project holograms.
– Scary teeth evolved to gnaw on the bark of giant trees.
– Ogrenas is an asexual drone; has no passions and as a result is very naive.
– No one has seen the queen of Ogrenas’ species.
– Glands on its chest secrete a clear goo that Ogrenas must rub all over its body to avoid sunburn. Other species covet this goo as a valuable drug.

Sirian [Ikmash] (1995)
– Very intelligent fellow, but devoid of feelings.
– Gets a sadistic streak sometimes.
– The classic grey alien but also a bit like a cat.
– Lonely last member of a once-proud master race; vain and pompous personality. 
– Makes inappropriate advances to women of all and any species he meets, particular to brunettes.
– Listed as a sex offender in twelve star systems.
– Operates machines light-years beyond human technology. Can turn light into matter. Once travelled to Earth and met Nikola Tesla.

The Sultis Megadon Monster (1995)
– From the same planet as Ogrenas (see above).
– A predatory animal with a hollow head, people can get in via a door-like flap behind its jaws and drive it around like a car.
– Controls inside look like tentacles, pustules and glands, you must tug at them.
– If you crash into someone the Sultis Megadon Monster eats them.
– If two Sultis Megadon crash head on, the larger eats the smaller.
– If they are the same size, they start mating.

Veridian (1996)
– Cryptic and shy intelligent species, comes in many varieties with different head-frills.
– Their planet is full of snakes!
– Scared of open places and doesn’t like being touched.
– Will sting you to death with its extremely pointed jaw, but does not want confrontation.
– Has no vocal cords, talks by shaking its elaborate, winged tail rattle.

Voidian (1996)
– Friendly but annoying frog character.
– Makes bad jokes and talks too much, but ultimately harmless.
– Has the annoying habit of jumping on people to startle them.
– His attention-hungry behaviour is a result of soul-gnawing lack of self-confidence.
– Its race once lived on trees, but have now been banished to a network of caves.

Pudd (1997)
– Cryptic member of a mollusk-spider race where everyone calls themselves “Pudd”.
– In fact that’s the only word they can speak.
– They actually communicate with a very sophisticated sign language performed by their top four limbs.
– Shy characters; only want to play with strange devices they build in trees.
– Scary claws help them climb enormous redwoods. Not predators.
– Skip on the ground from tree to tree on well-developed monopod.
– Hermaphrodites: Both lovers get pregnant when they make out.
– Pale spigot on body squirts a kind of defensive ink.
– Salt works like a dangerous drug on them; Pudd will crave it even as it kills them.

VIXON (1997)
– A gregarious and boisterous space merchant of an unknown race.
– Travels in a flashy spaceship that has many bright lights and chrome polish.
– Enjoys giving people an awkward time.
– Fun to hang out with but he WILL swindle you if you give him the chance.
– Has glowing tonsils as a result of space herpes infection.
– Every arm has a testicle and an ejaculatory pipe that Vixon uses in place of a thumb and forefinger…
-… except the third pair, which has ovaries and other female genitals. But Vixon can’t get pregnant from himself.
– The ratio of male / female genitals on this species’ hands varies from individual to individual and determines their personality. All-dick-hands are alpha males, all-vagina-hands are flaming femmes, and so on.

Snirfle (1997)
– Very smart dude, can hack any device.
– From a backwoods planet; got where she is by sheer hard work.
– Her hands are only used for grooming; Snirfle uses her triple proboscii to type on computers.
– Can digest almost any type of food; prone to binge-eating, keep food away from her!
– Secretly fed up and frustrated by others taking her for granted.
– Sings when no one is looking.

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