prokopetz:

More dumb magic items for your D&D campaign:

• A sword that inflicts emotional wounds
• A hat that, when left alone with another hat, will mate and produce hybrid offspring
• Negative gold pieces

• A map that is the territory
• Armour that becomes more effective the uglier the wearer
• A living pocket-watch that never needs winding, but if you don’t feed it, it dies; it’s an obligate carnivore
• Goggles that put censor bars over monsters of the Aberration type
• An instructional tome in the secret language of ducks
• A dagger that glows in the presence of one particular goblin
• Angry shoes

prokopetz:

morathor:

prokopetz:

More stock NPCs for your Dungeons & Dragons game:

• A hulking paladin voiced in your best Patrick Warburton impression who uses the names of obscure polearms as expletives
• A ranger who aspires to be a fashion designer, and hunts rare beasts to obtain their hides and fur for use in dressmaking
• What initially appears to be a dwarven runecaster with a badger familiar, but it turns out it’s actually the badger who’s the runecaster, and the dwarf is her personal assistant
• A compulsively stealthy rogue who insists that all their thievery is in support of a sick relative; it’s not entirely clear whether there’s one sick relative or many involved, as the details change every time they tell it
• A bard outlawed from their home village after making a pun so terrible that it killed the blacksmith
• A swashbuckling fighter who enjoys lavish hospitality on account of their fearsome reputation, but is secretly just very skilled at stage combat and can’t actually fight their way out of a wet paper bag
• A star pact warlock with maxed out Bluff impersonating a cleric of a benevolent sun god
• A mysterious druid dwelling on the outskirts of town who everyone politely pretends not to notice is actually three dire raccoons standing on each other’s shoulders in a feathered robe

One these are glorious.

Two what would be some suitably obscure polearms to use as curses?

My suggestions:

• “Bardiche!” (contemptuous disbelief)
• “Bec de corbin!” (surprise)
• “Fauchard!” (dismissal)
• “Guisarme-voulge!” (mild indignation)
• “Ranseur!” (frustration)

snowtiefling:

mindfulwrath:

being part of the d&d fandom is wild because the vast majority of folks are just here to be gay and do crimes but then there’s that little corner that consists of greasy-fingered Mountain Dew guzzlers whose sole purpose in life is to tell you that you’re wrong

reblog if you are gay or bisexual and are here to do crimes in RPGs

brittajj26:

okay, but imagine:

wednesday is at the local library with her father, searching the shelves for a book uncle fester told her about dangerous animals in south america. Gomez strikes up a conversation with the elderly librarian mrs. phelps to help wednesday find what they are looking for.

“That one? Or, Mr. Addams – I’m afraid it’s been checked out.”

a squeaky wheel catches wednesday’s attention, and right past her walks a girl with an ENTIRE red-rocket wagon topped full of books. the girl carefully looks over each book and drops them carefully into the book-return

that’s when wednesday sees it – the book she’s been looking for.

wednesday walked slowly up to the girl’s wagon, and touched the cover.

“I just finished that one,” the girl says. wednesday straightens up. “It has a fascinating chapter on the red-bellied piranhas of South America.”

“We’re looking at getting one for Pugsley’s tank,” wednesday says.

“A piranha? It will eat your fish,” she said.

“I’m counting on it.”

“Is Pugsley your fish?”

“My brother.” Wednesday replied.

The girl thought a moment. “You’ll need at least a dozen – they hunt best in schools.”

wednesday just barely smiled, a single corner of her lips turning up. “I’m wednesday addams.” she said, extending a hand.

“Matilda,” the girl replied, shaking her hand. “Matilda Wormwood.”