Totally not-shady NPC: I’ll need you to retrieve my secret cargo from the abandoned spaceship, but it’s very private, so don’t look inside–
Player: Is it a girl in a box?
NPC: …What?
Player: This is a sci-fi story, and there’s a box you don’t want us to look into. There’s only ever one way that ends, and it’s always with a girl stuffed into a box.
Other Player: Hey, we don’t even know how big it is. It could just be a cigar box.
First Player: Okay, you’re right. It could be a bunch of sex toys. How big is the box?
NPC: It’s… uh… six feet long by three feet wide by three feet deep…
First Player:Ugh. Okay, fine. Somebody pack a crowbar and a spare set of women’s clothing. We need to go get this girl out of her box.
Okay, so a fic where Harry finds out that his animagus is a tiny little black kitten, and he’s all like, ‘shit son, this is my chance to stay out after curfew’ but then he’s out one night, and McGonagall finds him and immediately knows it’s him, and just picks him up by the scruff of his neck to deliver his naughty ass back to G Tower while Harry meows at her in indignation.
agent: this is area 51, where the aliens live me: cool agent: and over there is area 69, where the aliens… uh… me: what agent: …. me: what do they do there
thisacelovesheadcanons 