This may be the greatest writing on D&D of our lifetimes. I know it looks like a lot, but please read it, you will be so happy and you will either begin to understand D&D or else recognize this rightness in your SOUL.
this is so deeply correct i may never stop nodding
Also I know halflings can’t in canon have babies w/ like any race that won’t just produce a halfling (Dragons/dryads/celestials/fiends can, but that’s just making aasimar/tieflings/sorcerers)
But consider: Halflings are like the CORGIS of fantasy races, so if another race has a kid with a halfling, they just look like a half sized version of the other parent
GIVE ME VISUALS YOU COWARDS.
G*d you’re so right
I’m so running with this. Imagine… Tabaxi Halflings trying to pass themselves off as a large cat.
“What do you mean ‘too big’? I’m a Maine Coon, clearly”
lmao my current character is half halfing and half orc. She’s two and a half feet of rage and is always ready to throw down. Her last name is Kneecrusher, bc that’s all she can reach.
You’re lying on the sofa under a blanket, lights dimmed, watching your favourite TV show. Your cat is laid across you, sleeping but purring quietly. All is calm. All is good.
but then out of the corner of your eye you spot him
the princess bride is exactly what a dnd campaign would look like as a movie like? the delightfully weird cast of characters with their own quirks, the strange pacing and narrative that still Works, the absolute absurdity of it all, the jumping back and forth between wanting to be serious and it being really funny, hell its even Told like a dnd story through the use of the grandfather being the one telling the story
what a fantastic fucking movie
also like the character backstories are SUCH dnd backgrounds like? “im out for revenge for my father who was killed by a guy with six fingers on one of his hands” “i bumped into a band of pirates and their leader liked me so much he ended up having me take on his title to retire”
that is the Exact shit that people come up with for dnd characters
DM: having narrowly escaped Humperdinck, you find yourselves in the dangerous Fire Swamps
Westley: do I know anything about this area? Any danger?
DM: roll a history check
Westley: 15
DM: you know of rumors of giant rats in the swamps, as well as quick sand
Westley: what do I know about the giant rats?
DM: roll nature
Westley: [nat 1] …… rodents of unusual size? I don’t think they exist
thisacelovesheadcanons 