oh darling i hate you, i have other things to be writing/editing, but god damn if this isn’t a good concept. so here’s some stuff….inspired by that.
#
“Where’d he go?” Magnus asks, staring at the space above Captain Captain Bane’s corpse.
“No fuckin’ idea, my man,” Taako’s mouth says, and nobody but Taako knows that it’s not Taako talking, but the Red Robe. Taako really wishes he could tell them, that uh, hey guys, it’s the Red Robe right here, taking over cha’boy’s whole just everything, but Spooky McSpookerson here is awful good at imitating Taako’s cadence, at keeping an iron grip on Taako’s whole mental thing.
Sorry Taako, Asshole Ghostface thinks. S’just for a bit, I just gotta get on the moonbase.
Get out of here! Taako thinks. This body is! One! Boy! Only!
I’ll be out of here in a bit, Jerkwad Bodysnatcher promises. Just gotta pick something up.
Taako ain’t no fool, he knows you can’t trust liches.
Su-ure he thinks, all sarcastic as the Red Robe makes Taako follow his boys back to their transport back to the base. Su-ure I can trust you.
#
Dickweed Fuckrobe makes Taako drink the weird juice from the tank on the Director’s desk and oh fuck, Taako really can trust liches.
Hey Barry what the fuck, Taako thinks, staring at the baby voidfish that’s materialized (what the fuck, Fisher had a kid? Fisher could reproduce?!) on the table, thoughts all banana blitzed blenderized, because that’s a hundred years of history, that’s his sister, that’s a mission and a life and a—
Don’t push yourself, Barry thinks, and now Taako remembers that Barry Bluejeans and the Red Robe are one and the same, that Barry Bluejeans is his brother-in-law-best-friend, You’ll scramble your neurons if you push it.
Fuck my neurons, Taako thinks savagely, because there’s Magnus-Merle-Davenport-Lucretia, there’s Lup like a staccato hammerfall in his brain, how dare Luce get rid of his sister, oh gods its like a whole gaping hole that he never noticed now filled, he always had her, and he’s so angry that his hands are shaking, the umbrella in his grip getting hot.
Okay, Barry thinks, all careful. Okay, well, I don’t have a spare body for you, bud, so maybe don’t do that? Also, I’m gonna get us out of here, okay?
Whatever, Taako thinks, cause he’s all preoccupied with losing his mind, and out of all the people he knows who are fond of possession, he trusts Barry the most. Lup would always draw on his face.
#
They run into Lucretia on the way out.
She doesn’t stand a chance against the two of them, and they blast their way out of the moonbase.
“I’ll explain everything later!” Taako yells on the way out to Maggie and Merle. “Maybe!”
#
“So this is Lup’s umbrella,” Barry says.
“And it was on her skeleton,” Taako confirms.
“And it’s supposed to vore magic…”
Taako looks at Barry’s skull. Presumably Barry’s skull looks back. He shrugs his red-clad shoulders. Taako rolls his eyes.
“Only one way to find out,” he says, and breaks the umbra staff over his knee.
“WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!” Lup yells, coalescing out of the crack, phantasmal and resplendent.
next day reblog with some fun facts:
- magnus and merle are very worried about taako! he just fuckin left!!!
- lucretia is claiming that taako is possessed by a red robe which is technically true and internally like “shitshitshitshit taako and barry are after me”
- barry is going to explain wonderland to lup and taako and theyre gonna yell at him cause we TOLD you the animus bell was a BAD IDEA barold.
- they hear that magnus and merle are gonna be sent to wonderland and decide to intercept: time for a lich-off!
- i dont know what else happens.
Tag: how dare you
ME, A NORMAL CONTRIBUTOR TO FANDOM: So let’s talk about the pedagogical implications Thanos’s snap would have on the Sesame Street curriculum within the greater MCU.
I don’t know how pedagogical it is, but I guess now I’m thinking about Bert sitting alone in a room, missing Ernie.
That is absolutely the emotional core of what a post-Snap episode of Sesame Street would be about (I feel like Bernice would be missing too, and Bert would try to play chess with Rubber Duckie?), but for the episode to function there needs to be something they’re teaching the audience besides ennui, and that is where I’m really stuck.
Because the emotional core wouldn’t stick if it’s not supported by the structure of the show! But it seems like the Snap destroys basically all structures in place. But that makes the structure of Sesame Street that much more necessary. And then I spiral like this for a while.
Disclaimer: I have not watched a full episode of Sesame Street in a long time
Big Bird has been waiting for the store to open for a very long time now. He’s a patient bird, and he knows about waiting his turn, but his watch has the big hand on the three and the little hand on the nine and he’s pretty sure that Alan usually open the store when the little hand is on the seven.
Finally, when the little hand goes all the way to the four, the door opens.
“Hi, Big Bird,” Chris says, his eyes red and puffy. “We aren’t going to open the store today.”
Big Bird doesn’t understand; Hooper’s store opens every day. “Why aren’t you opening the store, Chris?” Big Bird asks. “I need beakpaste, I’m all out.”
Chris just looks sad. “Big Bird, did you hear about The Snap?”
“No,” Big Bird says, and the way Chris is talking is very scary. He feels like he might need to sit down. “I don’t even know how to snap!”
Chris steps out form behind the door and gestures for them to sit on the stoop. When they’re settled, Chris takes a deep breath before he speaks. “Well, a bad man named Thanos came to Earth. Do you know about Thanos?”
“Yes,” Big Bird nods He heard some of the grownups saying that name. “He fought with the Avengers.”
“That’s right,” Chris says. “And the Avengers lost their fight. Sometimes, even when grownups try really hard, they can’t do all the things they want to do, and sometimes that means that bad things happen.”
“Did a bad thing happen?”
“Yes,” Chris says, taking Big Bird’s wing in his hand. “Because of Thanos, a lot of people are missing. And Alan is one of them.”
Big Bird has to think about that for a moment. He went missing one time, when he was a blue bird in a circus, but his friends found him and brought him home. But something about Alan’s face tells Big Bird that this isn’t the kind of missing where your friends can find you.
“Is Alan dead, Chris?” Big Bird asks. “I remember when Mr. Hooper died.”
“The honest answer is that we don’t know. He might be. Or he might just be missing.”
Big Bird tries to understand that. “Missing?”
“Yeah,” Chris says. “He might come back some day, and he might not. We just don’t know.”
Big Bird wants to cry. He loves Alan, and he doesn’t want any of his friends to be missing. “Is anyone else missing?”
“Yes,” Chris says. “Some of your friends may be, or their parents, or yours cousins and uncles and aunts. A lot of people are. And it’s very scary.”
“What can we do?”
Chris is crying a little, a few small tears pooling at the side of his eyes, and Big Bird wants to do something, wants to say something, but he kinda feels like crying too, and doesn’t know what will help. “I don’t know,” Chris says. “I think the only thing we can do is be here for each other, and love each other, and take care of each other. When things are scary, and when bad things happen, the most important thing to do is look around at the people who are still here, and try to do your best for them.”
Big Bird nods. “Hey Chris?”
“Yeah, Big Bird?”
“Do you want a hug?”
Chris nods. “I would very much like a hug, thank you.”
Big Bird does the only thing he knows how to do; he opens his wings and wraps them around Chris, doing his best to be there for the people who are still with him.
I hate my brain sometimes.
Because it pointed out within about four seconds: The worst part of this is that they’d have to decide which muppet characters went missing after the Snap based partially on which muppeteers did.
brain, why are you like this.
*Looks at menu closely for 10 minutes*
“yeah i’ll order the exact same thing i order every single time i come here”
thisacelovesheadcanons 