Lup installs herself on Merle’s lap as soon as they all pile in, filling the car with chatter and incessant questions. She’s fascinated by these newfangled things called cars, especially since she and Taako had only ever gone by caravan, she tells Merle eagerly. She pries stories out of every flower in his beard and runs her little fingers through his hair admiringly.
Her fingertips spark with excitement and she yelps, scrabbling backward, but Merle pats out the growing flame with good-natured ease and hoists her back onto his lap.
At that, Taako relaxes. He’s wedged between the front and back seats, one hand looped idly around the hem of Lup’s pants, but he studies Magnus with an intensity that scares him.
Eventually, after Merle’s beard has been extinguished and Lup picks right up where she left off with her questions, Taako pats Lup’s calf and plops himself down on Magnus’s thigh.
“What happened to your eye?” he asks bluntly.
“Uh,” Magnus says eloquently, reminded of a Taako of a hundred years smirking sideburns? Maybe grow ‘em before pickin’ that name, scraggly, because he hadn’t known that humans didn’t pick their own names, back then. “I, uh, got into a fight.”
Most kids, he’d pick ‘em up, maybe regale them with a good story or two of heroics, but this Taako is prickly and untrusting and probably wouldn’t take well to being handled. For now he lets Taako sit on his thigh and glare up at him, arms crossed.
Taako snorts. “That’s dumb,” he says. “You don’t got a sister to back you up.” Then he pauses and squints at him. “Unless you do got a sister that I don’t know about.”
“I don’t really have a sister, but I do have a big family,” Magnus shrugs, and grins. “You’re gonna get to meet them real soon.”
“Who?”
“All of us,” Magnus says, gesturing broadly to the car. “Uh, you already met Barry and Merle, but on top of that there’s Davenport and, um, Lucretia, and me of course. We’re all good people. They keep me from doing dumb stuff like getting scars.”
“Lup only gets scars when she’s too dumb to run away from fights.”
“Lup is a smarter girl than I,” Magnus says, then shakes his head. “Though that’s something of an, uh, running theme in our story, more competent women – you know what, never mind that. So, uh, how old are you, Taako?”
“Dunno,” Taako shrugs. “Old.”
“You don’t know?”
“That’s what I just said,” Taako bristles. “We couldn’t count when we were little ‘n after that we lost track.”
Magnus opens his mouth, closes it. He’d forgotten how long the twins were alone. “Right,” he manages. “D’you know your birthday?”
“No. Dunno that either.”
“Ah.”
Even after their century together neither Taako nor Lup liked to talk much about their past, even when it hurt them, and this – this is an unparalleled opportunity to find out more. To maybe heal some of those hurts.
But it’d taken that Taako, even with decades of constant companionship in the form of Lup, ten years to open up to them. This tiny Taako who, Magnus extrapolates, hasn’t exactly had a good run of life – well. He’s already distrusting enough, and gods know if Taako will ever uncross his arms before Barry finds a cure for this strange spell.
But Taako, as always, surprises him.
He’s jolted out of his reverie by two little hands tugging at his beard. “You’re too tall,” Taako complains, narrowing his eyes at Magnus as if his physical stature were an unpardonable crime. “Gimme your face.”
Magnus is too startled to do anything but comply. Apparently pleased, Taako presses a surprisingly gentle finger to the outside of the scar, tracing it down his eyelid and stopping at his cheek.
“Looks like it hurt,” Taako says. On anyone else it would be dismissive, but Magnus – Magnus knows that voice. It’s as close to concern as Taako gets on most days.
“Eh,” Magnus grins, and is fiercely glad to see Taako’s lips twitch upward in return. “Wasn’t so bad. ‘Sides, it makes me look cool.”
“Makes you look dumb,” Taako bites, but that twist to his lips stays in place even after he pushes Magnus’s face away.
Before they pile out of the car, Merle hands Lup back to Magnus and Taako, groaning as he stretches. “Well then, kiddos,” Merle says. “We’re not gonna force you or anythin’, but if you wanna stay with us for a skip, then our house is your house, as they say.”
Lup and Taako stare, openmouthed, at the house. It’s a bit awkward, the five of them crowded on the grass with two tiny elves gaping at the sheer expanse of it all – the rolling greenery, the ornate spiralling architecture, the gothic-style corner of the house that Magnus built himself, as per Barry’s request. It is Taako’s house, after all; it could never be anything less than ostentatious.
“’s big,” Lup says.
Merle laughs. “Sure is, kiddo.”
Taako grabs Lup’s hand and whispers something indecipherable in her ear. Magnus turns on instinct to ask Taako what was said, so long reliant on keen elven hearing, before shaking himself.
Lup nods and says, “Why are you lettin’ us stay with you?” She points to the house, daunting in scale and mass. “We dunno you ‘n you dunno us.”
Magnus freezes, looks at Barry. Barry shakes his head helplessly; he doesn’t have anything better than Magnus does. They can hardly explain to these children that they’re heroes, and that they’re family, but they aren’t quite yet.
How do you explain Fate to mere children?
But Merle just laughs again, plops himself down on the grass. It rubs his shorts green with nature, but Merle doesn’t seem to care. “Guess we couldn’t hide it from you clever kiddos, now could we,” he says. “Well, lemme tell you the truth. Sit with me for a second?”
There’s a beat in which the only sound is the distant melody of chirping birds and, from inside, the faint sound of piano, before Taako nods at Lup and Lup takes his hand and they both sit.
“Well, truth is, kids, we got a coupla friends. Good friends. I’d – I’d call ‘em my kids, almost. Good people. Anyway, they went on vacation a little while ago, and they said, ‘Y’know, Merle, you’re gonna miss us when we’re gone,’ smirkin’ and everything. And you know what? They were right.
“So anyway, before they pack up ‘n go, they say ‘Merle, you’re gonna get lonely in this big empty house,’ which is kinda true because sometimes these shmucks forget to call me, even on my birthday. So they told me to fill the house while they were away.
“And they didn’t say with who, ‘cause they’re enigmatic, but they were orphans when they were little. Like you two. And you looked lost, so I figured, hey! My kids would love you guys. And here we are.”
Magnus finds himself holding his breath, but Merle looks calm as ever as Taako and Lup glance at each other. A dozen words pass between them without ever making a sound, a combination of looks and touches and an unshakeable bond.
Taako says, “What do you mean, ‘were?’”
“Huh?”
“You said they were orphans,” Taako persists, knuckles turning white around his handful of grass. “Their parents died. How come they weren’t orphans anymore?”
Merle leans back on his arms, tipping his head toward the sky. “Well, I look at it this way,” he says finally. “I love those kids, and they love me, and we’re all just kinda a big family, y’know?”
“No.”
“Yeah,” Merle says, scratching at his beard, “I s’pose you wouldn’t. But one thing those kids taught me is that family ain’t always what you’re born with. Sometimes, it’s what you find along the way.”
Lup tugs at Taako’s sleeve and whispers something in Taako’s ear. Taako frowns and shakes his head, and Lup whispers more urgently, and there’s a beat and a pleading look tossed between the twins and finally, finally, Taako nods.
“Okay,” Lup says. “We wanna see the big house.”
Merle’s face splits into a broad, beaming grin, and Magnus and Barry breathe a sigh of relief. “Good to have you, kiddos.”
“Don’t curse ‘em out! Gods, man, it’s like you have no manners.”
“Merle, they’re – ” Magnus gestures helplessly at the two elves. “Merle, they’re little.”
“We’re not little!” Lup frowns, stepping forward. Taako tugs her further back into the cave, eyeing Magnus warily.
“How old are you, then?” Magnus asks, kneeling on muddied ground in front of them. Taako shuffles backward. Lup steps in front of him.
“Eleven,” Lup says defiantly. “‘N we can take care of ourselves.”
“Eleven?” Magnus yelps.
“I’m sure you can, kiddos,” Merle says, kneeing Magnus out of the way. “You’ve taken care of yourselves so far, haven’tcha?”
“Yeah!”
“You’re a coupla brave kiddos.”
“We’re – ”
“Don’t paternize us,” Taako snaps. “You don’t know us a’ all.”
Magnus opens his mouth, but Merle elbows him in the knee. “You’re right,” he says, chuckling in that paternal way of his, then outstretches his soulwood arm. “But I’d love to get to know you tykes better. How’sabout we get outta this cave and I can see you two in proper daylight?”
When Merle had told him that Taako and Lup were little now, Angus wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Downsized versions of his adult quasi-guardians, maybe. He certainly didn’t expect two pairs of near-identical brown eyes and chubby fingers clasped tight together.
“Hello,” he says. He kneels, and in one motion, they back up, watching him carefully. “My name’s Angus.”
“I’m – ” Lup begins to say, but stops when Taako elbows her.
“I’m not here to hurt you,” Angus says soothingly, keeping his voice even. Deep down, on a level these children – gods, it’s weird, they’re so little – are too young to understand, he’s taking awestruck notes: how Lup curves herself in front of her brother, how Taako keeps his weight back, ready to grab his sister and flee. “What are your names?”
Silence. Then Lup whispers, head turning toward her brother, “I think we can trust him, Koko.”
Taako shakes his head. “Don’t like ‘im.”
“You don’t like anyone.”
“You shouldn’t either.”
“The nice dwarf said we could though! And you trust the nice dwarf.”
“He has a weird arm!” Taako complains, though he keeps his voice carefully muted.
“You still trust him.”
Taako frowns at his feet, hand tightening around Lup’s. “Don’t know why.”
“‘Cause he’s a good guy, dingus.”
“You don’t know that, goofus.”
“Yes I do! I’m very intootive.” She pauses, then says, “means I can read people good.”
“I know. You’re the best,” he says.
“And the best says you gotta trust him too. He looks nice!” she whispers.
Taako pouts at her, then glares at Angus. “Fine,” he says. “Fine. I’m Taako.”
“And I’m Lup!” Lup says, beaming at him. “My brother’s being a dummy but he does that sometimes.”
“I’m not a dummy!” Taako says. “I’m real smart. Gonna be the smartest when I’m older. I’m gonna – I’m gonna know all the math.”
“And I’m gonna blow shit up really good!” Lup crows, waving hers and Taako’s little fists through the air.
“I believe it,” Angus says, still crouching in front of them. “You know, when I was your age, I thought I wanted to be an astronaut.”
“Whassat?”
“It’s an explorer,” Angus says, “but of space.”
“Are you a astronaut?” Lup asks. She still hasn’t let go of her brother, and tugs him forward. Angus bats away the urge to shuffle closer to them. Best let them come to him.
“I’m a detective,” Angus says, and unclips the Sherriff’s badge from his vest. “That means I find bad guys, and this means I fight them with magic!”
“Whoa!” Lup says.
“What’s that?” Taako asks, his first question to Angus so far, jabbing a finger at the badge.
“Oh, that’s – it’s a detective’s tool,” Angus explains, offering it to him. Slowly, Taako takes it, squinting at the shiny golden edges. “It helps me convince people I’m not a detective when I’m working.”
“But you told us you were a detective,” Lup points out.
“I did. But that’s because I trust you.”
“Who gave it to you?” Taako says, running his free hand along the smooth metal. “‘s pretty. I want one.”
Angus swallows, smiles. “A – a good friend of mine,” he says. “He…he’s not here right now, but he’ll be back soon. But – hey, Taako, I’m not going on any cases for a little while, so I don’t need it. Would you hold on to it for me?”
Taako eyes him suspiciously. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to lose it before he gets back,” Angus says. “He’d be very disappointed in me.”
“Will he be disappointed in me if I lose it?”
“Of course not,” Angus says, careful to keep his voice two shades from patronizing. At any age, Taako picks up on that immediately. “He’ll love you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m a detective.” Angus shuffles closer, slow, letting the twins back away if they wanted to. He holds out his hand, palm-up, and waits for Taako to give it to him. “Can I put it on your shirt?”
Taako freezes and looks at Lup. “Lemme do it,” she says, and snatches it from him. She fumbles with it one-handed, trying to grab at Taako’s shirt and unlatch the pin with five fingers. Taako puffs out his chest obligingly, pinching the fabric, and finally they clasp it in place. “There,” she says, and steps back a half-pace to admire it. “Lookin’ good, brobro.”
“Thanks,” he says, then looks at Angus. “You too, Agnes. Thanks.”
“It’s – ” Angus is about to correct him when he shakes his head fondly. “Yeah,” he says instead. “You’re welcome.”
For the same reason the safe money says your school, like mine, taught you he was probably a drug addict who hated everybody and had no friends and drank himself to death.
Because by some wacky mix-up, somehow the right to legally execute Poe’s literary estate and therefore the public image he carried following his death was transferred to a dude who openly and without shame hated Edgar Allan Poe.
Due to some legal mumbo-jumbo and trickery, this dude Rufus Wilmot Griswold somehow managed to get the rights of literary executor to Poe’s estate from his aunt (which she didn’t technically have the power to give, that power remained with Poe’s sister), and he and Edgar Allan Poe hated each other SO MUCH in life, that after he died, this asshole published a memoir of Poe’s life in which he was totally demonized.
Rufus Wilmot Griswold is one of the most successful character assassins of all time. Because of him, schoolchildren are taught that Poe was a depraved misanthropic lecher who lusted after his underage cousin, was never sober, and died of drinking too much even though all of those “facts” have been discredited. Poe was a shy and reserved, though generally personable, man who married his cousin so to establish legal guardianship and provide for her financially.
He was also apparently a total lightweight who got tipsy after a few sips of wine, but occasionally drank socially or when feeling particularly down. His doctor insisted there were never traces of opium in his system. Poe’s friends insisted that he was not an alcoholic. At the time of his death, he had quit drinking, and the idea that he was one was heavily promoted by other members of the Temperance movement who claimed his death was a relapse as a cautionary tale. The most commonly accepted theory as to Poe’s death is that he was abducted, drugged, and beaten by political agents who forced him to vote for their candidate, changed his clothes, and then forced him to vote again and again to stuff the ballots.
Anyhow. This is why you should evaluate the validity and agendas of your sources.
That last bit seemed exceedingly peculiar to me and I had difficulty believing it, so I looked it up, and apparently it’s not the most commonly accepted theory at the moment, but it is a legit possibility and a thing that actually happened in the 19th century often enough to be given a name. It was plausible enough for quite a few of his biographers across several decades to agree on that theory, at least. So that’s a thing.
His exact cause of death is mysterious, especially since most of the records have been lost, but the drinking binge theory is unlikely. It’s more plausible that he died of an illness or foul play.
IM CRYING OKAY JUST IMAGINE tony trying to explain the basics of roleplaying in bed to steve.
“so it’s us playing out scenes that might not normally happen?” steve asks.
tony nods, happy that steve is getting it. “exactly.”
after a brief silence, steve nods too. “okay. i think i have an idea,” he says.
“ooooh,” tony says, audibly excited, “you wanna surprise me with it tonight?”
so tony also talks him through how they can call it off if either of them want to stop at any time, and they set up to do it that night.
tony’s in the lab when jarvis alerts him that steve is coming. tony grins to himself, excited, but manages to keep working until he hears the door open and steve’s quiet footsteps. then out of nowhere he’s hoisted into a pair of strong arms.
“oh, my,” tony says, feigning demureness. “how forward of you, cap.”
but steve doesn’t talk all the way back up to tony’s bedroom.
“so, what’s going on, hm?” tony purrs when steve finally drapes him on the bed.
steve peels back the covers. joins him. and…pulls the covers back over them. and steve draws him close and pats his waist and says, “night, tony.”
“wait what,” tony says, smushed against steve’s chest, because neither of them are even naked.
“we’re roleplaying going to sleep on time,” steve says. “night, tony.”
tony’s too awed by his boyfriend’s tactics to kick him out of bed.
Steve’s Greatest Hits Of Roleplaying also include::
—Look at Us Eating Healthy Meals at Reasonable Times.
—What If We Get Kinky and Switch Coffee to Decaf
—Handcuffing Tony to the Bed Because He Was Too Reckless Yesterday and Needs to Sit This One Out
—Playing Doctor but Actually Taking You To the Doctor Because Tony You’ve Been Sick for a Week and I’m Not Accepting More Snotty Kisses and Wheezing Sex Noises
Really? This broad can’t think of one time Jesus got in trouble with the law? Like, once? Where it maybe led to a pretty significant consequence? Not once?
thisacelovesheadcanons 