an evil necromancer just captured a reaper they need to use for a ritual. they know it’s dangerous to keep her, but she can’t free herself on her own.
then. suddenly. there’s this guy at the entrance of the cave. he looks like a fucking suburban dad who just wandered in here by chance. chubby, glasses, white shirt… blue jeans. fuck.
of course this necromancer knows the story, the song. everyone does.
they try to run, but barry bluejeans isn’t having it.
“you hurt her,” he says, and his calm voice is laced with something strange. something dangerous.
barry doesn’t shift into his reaper form. he doesn’t have to. he takes this necromancer apart with their own weapons, spells that he knows so much better than them because he’s had a hundred years to perfect them.
the captured reaper – lup, how did they not realize this was lup – cheers him on, but she doesn’t have to.
barry j. bluejeans is the most powerful necromancer in the entire planar system – and probably all planar systems beyond.
the necromancer dies, painfully, but they do see barry stumble towards lup to free her from her bonds. they embrace and barry blushes at something she whispers in his ear.
Listen. Listen, anon. I’ve had three hours of sleep and I can’t stop thinking about Barry and Kravitz getting into an argument about necromancy at a fancy cocktail party. Kravitz is dressed in a thousand dollar designer suit made of fabric that shimmers like raven’s wings. Barry is in his Good Jeans and some fun socks. Taako’s dress has a slit to his hip and Lup’s is just literally on fire. Everyone in the crowd’s got half an eye on the twins because they’ve been going through a lot of champagne and also the fire thing. It’s both impressive and scary as fuck. Is something going to catch alight? Is it just illusion magic? No one is quite sure, but the servers stick close just in case a tablecloth goes up in flames.
They’re so busy watching the twins they don’t notice things kick off. Barry and Kravitz were told not to talk about work, but whatcha going to do? They’re both workaholic nerds and the last case was so interesting, wasn’t it? Lup had a blast taking out the cult leader with Kravitz and Barry was looking at their notes and—yes, he knows technically he shouldn’t still have the notes, but he was curious about the ritual and what it would take to actually get it to a point where it would work, so he reached out to a friend at the Academy of Arcane Sciences and it turns out that you could probably stop a reaper from interrupting your dark work if you just tweaked some of the spell work a little and changed some of the shielding glyphs to reflect spells that protect against natural disasters because then the alarms in the astral plane wouldn’t be set off and, yes, technically his friend is a necromancer, but just because Barry figured out a way to outsmart the Raven Queen’s early warning system doesn’t mean that his friend will use it, Kravitz. It’s an academic exercise, so—
Speculation about whether or not Lup is going to set anything on fire is momentarily put on hold when Taako’s handsome husband turns into a skeleton and he and Barry get into a yelling match over whether or not Professor Audley belongs in the Eternal Stockade—Taako helpfully informs the host that this is “hell jail.” Professor Audley, present for the party, makes a strategic retreat back to her condo. Lup listens to the argument for a minute, then steps in and suggests Kravitz and Barry figure out a way to counter the countermeasure. They spend the rest of the party writing out notes and equations on cocktails napkins as everyone around them gives them a wide, wide berth.
WIP The Lady Flame from TAZ: Amnesty. Dr Harris Bonkers will be sketched…. Probably.
“Taako cant be fat cuz in the liveshow he said he wasnt a bear” you FOOLS, he could just not be hairy, and we know taako isnt super masc, learn ur gay culture
I thought they said taako had a lean figure so that’s why he did good Acrobatics. I mean he could be chubby. But I’m just saying I think they established a lean figure for taako
thisacelovesheadcanons 