my coworker asked why i had a bigfoot tattoo so i told her the whole story and immediately after she made an excuse to leave so i’m never doing that again
Okay so when I was in college I took a course on the American Romantics. One of the books we had to read in this class was Walden by Henry David Thoreau.
This is the worst book I have ever laid hands on.
I hated it so much that I complained at pretty much every opportunity about having to read it. I had already declared Henry David Thoreau to be my mortal enemy for writing this book and being such a whiny little baby.
One night, in the midst of sleep deprivation and sheer hatred for this book, I went on a rant to my best friend that was something along the lines of “Henry David Thoreau calls himself an American but he spent two years living in the woods and never once claimed to see Bigfoot so someone is fucking lying” and from there it devolved into me coming to the indisputable conclusion that Henry David Thoreau spent two years fucking the sasquatch and had to cover it up in his book to avoid destroying his entire life.
And from that it just became a running joke that Thoreau had an affair with Bigfoot and everyone who knows this story except for my best friend probably thinks I’m insane.
Nearly a year later, I had Bigfoot immortalized on my leg as an eternal reminder that any book can be more interesting if you just convince yourself it’s all a cover up for a conspiracy theory
Also referring to Walden as “Sleeping With Sasquatch” confuses and upsets people so I personally would love to make it a thing.
Mum wasn’t going to come to my wedding. It was hard, but I’d made peace with that. My girlfriend and I would get married without her blessing.
Then, two days before the big day, when we were already in New Zealand, I got a frantic call at 11pm at night. I answered it and it was her, crying and asking if she’d still be welcome. We said yes, of course, and she booked herself last minute flights to get to New Zealand.
When I first saw her outside the registry, all dressed up with her hair done and holding flowers, I burst into tears. She came up to me and touched my face, saying, “You look so happy. Both of you, you look so happy,” and gave us these roses.
They’re more than flowers to me.
They’re given to me by a women to cried and shouted and refused to talk about my sexuality for seven years after I came out to her. It may not seem like much: but she had to walk into that flower store and buy these. She had to choose roses – the symbol of love – for her gay daughter and her gay daughter’s ‘friend’. There’s an admission in that. There’s acceptance in that. These roses say, “I know you love each other,” and she gave them to us at our wedding, which she flew three thousand kilometres to attend.
I sobbed as she placed them in my hand.
Because nothing will ever touch what it feels like to finally, finally know your mother loves you just the way you are.
sometimes an acapella group is just you and your 5000 force-vision clones
wh-what
who are they
this is he
Since some of you haven’t seen this somehow. pls enjoy Weird Al
Don McLean, the original singer of “American Pie” (I mention this because some of y’all apparently don’t recognise Weird Al in an Obi-Wan Kenobi costume so who knows what other gaps there are in your education), has said that sometimes when singing the song live he starts to think of the Star Wars version of the lyrics. A fun challenge is to sing the Star Wars lyrics AT THE SAME TIME as the original song plays in the car.
ok but if you haven’t heard it you’re ALSO unaware of the fact that he wrote it before the movie came out based entirely on internet spoilers.
in 1999.
he may actually be a jedi.
Don’t forget he only got ONE thing wrong. I can’t remember what it was st the moment and was given the pass to see a pre theater screening of the film to find out what he’d got wrong. I think he might’ve changed it after he found that out so the song would be completely accurate but I’m not sure. Still that’s really really really really fucking impressive that he only missed one little thing from a movie that hadn’t started screening in theaters from spoilers in the internet’s early years.
thisacelovesheadcanons 