I got involved in fandom in the mid-90s when I was around 14 years old. My cousin @lyndanaclerio sent me VHS recordings of the Sailor Moon dub, and I fell in love… I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before.
Since then, I’ve been in a lot of different fandoms: from manga to YA, Tolkien to Xena, Harry Potter to Teen Wolf, Star Wars to Marvel, and countless mini-fandoms along the way. And I’ve met a lot of cool people online over the years — older and younger alike, including my best friend of 15 years — on all sorts of platforms. I’ve built myself fandom homes on shitty GeoCities fansites and moderately less shitty sites I made from scratch; on Yahoo! Groups and LiveJournal; on AO3 and Tumblr… and that’s nothing compared to others!
But, last week, I turned 36, and according to some, I’ve already overstayed my welcome in fandom by at least a decade. I guess I’m supposed to put all my comics and collectibles on eBay, swap out my fanfiction with whatever the fuck a beach read is, and spend the rest of my life cloistered in my house where I won’t offend society. (I mean, I’m kind of a hermit, but that’s not why.)
And let me be clear here: by some, I mean some. While there is indeed a frightening trend here on Tumblr, in which some young people have embraced bizarrely conservative views about women and sexuality, with the Trumpian rhetoric to match, I think the problem is bigger than that. I recently talked about the pressure I felt to abandon fandom when I was 25 when Tumblr was still brand new, and nothing like it is today. It’s clear there were (and are) more societal forces at work than just a toxic sub-culture on a struggling platform.
So, this post isn’t about the vast majority of young people in fandom, nor am I here to yell “get off my fandom, you pesky kids!” when no one ever said that to 14-year-old me. In fact, this post is as much for fangirls as it is for fanwomen because you deserve to know that getting older doesn’t mean giving up the things you love. But you don’t deserve to tell others to conform just because you’re uncomfortable that they exist. There are already enough toxic fanboys trying to keep women out of geek culture, so don’t help them hold the gates closed from the outside.
And if you are older, and already let that shit drive you out of taking a more active part in fandom, I’ve been there, and I get it. But you can still come back; not just on your private Tumblr, or your secret AO3 account, but for real and any time. One of the most freeing choices I’ve made is to stop pretending I think all of this is stupid. The world needs more quirky, eccentric women, anyways.
Sorry this one is so long, but apparently I have FEELINGS this month — especially after the Bog of Eternal Stench I had to trot through while researching this one — and there are a lot of people who’ve articulated them better than I did here (see the following meta recs). I promise we’ll move on next week! As always, let the authors know you appreciated their work by engaging however you can. And if you ever feel alienated on this site, please feel welcome to talk to me! 💛
Fandom – Ageism
Adults in Fandom by @littlesystems, […] There are a lot of different factors at play with the current fandom purity thing. It’s primarily being driven by minors, which is why I’ve used that as a stand-in, but there are older people who are obsessed with this and younger people who aren’t. Nuance! Exciting stuff. I think the two biggest drivers here are a genuine but misguided desire to make fandom a better place, paired with plain ol’ run-of-the-mill sexism. I’m not the first person to say this and I know others have said it better, but here are my two cents.
Age and Experience in Fandom by @tppfandomstats, This month’s @threepatchpodcast episode, When I’m 64, looks at fandom and aging. To go along with these discussions, here are some demographic stats from a few fandom surveys on the age distribution in our online fandom communities.
Age Appropriate Activities by @telesilla, So this post, another in a long series of “find a bridge club you embarrassing old ladies” posts, came around. And I adulted hard all day and it just really pissed me off and caught me at a bad time.
Ageism in Fandom by @badtech-reblogs, Seeing yet another post about ageism in fandom and I’m trying to do some root cause analysis. That ageism in fandom is tied up with misogyny is a given. There is almost no age too young to start ridiculing a woman for her hobbies and interests, and even young girls are expected to have a maturity and patience beyond their years. The misogyny is coming in from the larger world outside of fandom like how misogyny, ableism, anti-blackness etc. seeps into all subcultures.
Ageism in Fandom: Too Old to Fangirl? by @ravenmorganleigh, @vulgarweed, et al. Most Fandoms are comprised mostly of women, young and old. It’s interesting to me when Young Women– who are the most likely to champion women’s rights can turn around and show their youth-bias when it comes to Older Women in Fandom.
Fandom culture wouldn’t be where it is now if it wasn’t for Old Fandom by @thepalmtoptiger, I almost forgot that ageism in fandom is a thing. Apparently once you hit 25/30 years old you’re supposed to stop having interests in things. People need to freshen up on their fandom history and realize that fandom now wouldn’t be what it is if it wasn’t for older fans.
Getting older doesn’t actually feel like anything by @catchmewhispering, The hilarious thing about growing up, that all the ageist people here are gonna very harshly realise, is getting older doesn’t actually feel like anything. You don’t “turn into” an adult, it’s just another year that passes and, sure, it might become easier to make decisions or figure out how to fix a sticky situation but overall, you don’t suddenly Enter Adult World and never have a goofy thought or a messy moment ever again.
The idea that you will someday be ‘too old’ for the stuff you find fun by @freedom-of-fanfic, […] The idea that you will someday be ‘too old’ for the stuff you find fun now is a long-standing cultural message that I’m sure many anti-shippers – many adolescents of all stripes – have absorbed. that message caused adolescent me to think I would outgrow fandom, and I don’t think that message has particularly changed.
If other people in fandom are older than you, by definition, they have been your age by @codenamecesare, […] If other people in fandom are older than you, by definition, they have been your age. When fans write about younger characters, we’re not peering through a keyhole at young people now and creeping on them. We are drawing on our own experiences, thoughts, feelings and memories of what it was like when we were that age.
I’m old as balls by @warlordenfilade, […] Just realize that with 30+ year old franchises there will be 30+ year old people who grew up with the franchise and still love it. Tumblr may be a relatively recent platform but fandom as an institution is waaaay older than I am and the Transformers fandom in particular has fans in their 40s and 50s whom I am personally acquainted with, fans who have adapted from photocopy fanzines and snail mail mailing lists to bulletin boards, newsgroups, forums, and, yeah, tumblr, in their many years of fandom.
I wish we’d stop telling each other – and ourselves – that there’s a point at which we’re too old for fandom by @vantasticmess, I spent every year from 14 to 25 telling myself that eventually I’d grow out of fandom: I would get too old to cosplay and I would write my own original stories instead of ‘just’ fanfiction. After all, adults don’t write fanfic and adults don’t make costumes for themselves. Adults get married and have kids and make costumes for their kids and write real stories and get published.
“like, i’m not saying that adults don’t have a place in fandom.” by @porcupine-girl, @melifair, et al. […] Fandom is vast and encompasses a multitude of interests and age groups. We all fandom responsibly, and those who abuse that at the expense of someone vulnerable or impressionable are not tolerated. This does not mean that anyone specific group of fandom should be limited. Nor does it mean that the only entertainment media created ever should be accessible to all viewing audiences. Young fandom will grow to understand this, not only in fandom but in life.
“Lmao 30-year-old women don’t belong in fandoms. Go knit or have kids or something.” by @rainbowloliofjustice, @the-salt, et al. […] It’s the fact I don’t get what these people think happens when you turn 18 it’s not like the second you turn 18 you just immediately lose interest in everything you were interested in at 17 and from then on only like strictly ‘adult™’ things. A lot of people who were in fandoms as teenagers stay in fandoms as adulthood. Fandoms aren’t minor-only spaces and never have been and there’s literally nothing wrong with adults in fandom environments.
Older fans are crucial to the survival of fandoms by @muchymozzarella, […] Not ONLY because they’re literally the ones keeping fandom afloat (AO3 wasn’t created or maintained by kids, let’s just say), but because older fans generally don’t attack or bully or fuck up a fandom by being aggressive or volatile or overzealous, destroying any enjoyment of a medium.
PSA by @bugsieplusone, I’ve been sitting on this post for a while because it probably reveals more about me on a platform that I’d rather not reveal but here goes. I’d like to talk about fandom and ageism. If you are older, you are: Allowed to like things, Allowed to create fan works, Allowed to discuss things with other like minded fans, Allowed to participate.
Reblog if Older Fans Are Welcome In Fandom by @cameoamalthea, For many fandom is a life long passion that starts young, but being a geek isn’t something you have to grow out of and put away. I didn’t start cosplaying until my 20s (I couldn’t have, and probably won’t be financially secure enough to do all the things I want until my 30s).
tumblr’s disgust for older people in fandom by @bai-xue, @awkward-smiley; […] I’m young now, but I was scared that I wouldn’t be over fandoms when I got older. I’m sick of it, how about we all just like what we like and not judge people?
you are never too old for fandom by @hils79, […] You are never too old for fandom and if you think that’s true I pity you when you reach whatever arbitrary age you think is the cutoff point.
You are reinforcing a stereotype by @asocialjusticeleague, @olderthannetfic, et al; […] Whenever you question a woman’s right to this space because of her age or parental status, you are reinforcing a stereotype that has effects that reach beyond that one situation. The expectation, for example, that 40 year old men be catered to when writing comics, but that characters of interest to 40 year old women are obsolete or unprofitable.
Tag: this is important
Different Strokes?
I think I left the teller at the bank genuinely disturbed when I told him that “If I can’t afford it, I just don’t buy it.”
“What about a car? Do you drive a car?” he inquired, his voice toning on the edge of fear.
I told him, “Yeah, I have a vehicle. I bought it used for under $3,000.”
He looked physically pained. “What about if you want to buy some kind of new appliance? Or furniture?” he persisted.
I stared at him blankly. “My couch was $5.00 at Goodwill. Like…I just buy shit cheap or I don’t buy it at all. The only thing in my life that I make payments on is my house, my bills, and my insurance, and that’s split five ways because I have housemates.”
The young man looked horrified? Appalled? And somehow also awed?
This guy couldn’t have been much older than me. But it seemed that he’d never even considered the option before of saving up for something to purchase it outright instead of using a credit card.
Am I the only person in my general age group (just turned 26) who’s never owned a credit card, and who has forgone basic comforts in order to save up for items so you don’t owe money to anyone, like, ever?If you’re living in the US without a credit card at 26, you’re playing with danger.
No credit is viewed as the same as bad credit. Which means you could be denied if you ever do need to rent an apartment or a car. Hospitals and clinics are also less likely to allow payment plan programs for people without good credit.
The best thing you could do at this point is apply for a credit card you’re eligible for and pay a few things (I do gas and groceries myself) with it each month. As long as you keep it to zero balance each month there is no interest and there will be proof of you not having debt (instead of just the absence of debt).
what.
This is legit how it works. The system requires records on you, or else. So you need a credit card and worse, you need to have a record of using it, even if you pay it off every single month. Unfortunately, the formulas used to determine credit score are secret, so we also have people suggesting that your credit rating is helped if every so often you do pay a bit of interest. The whole thing is a complete mess. If you don’t have a credit rating/history, then any loans you manage to get will be at extremely high interest and will require much more effort than they really should.
what
yeaah let me just go get a card that i can’t pay off because capitalism is shit, even if i literally only buy a pack of gum
that’d go wellIf you pay it off in full every month there is no interest. Do what OP is doing but put some of that on your credit card and pay it off every month, and soon you will have a very good credit rating.
you skipped right the fuck over the “can’t pay it off” part huh
like credit cards are just not a viable thing if you’re poor and have shit income
And I’m saying to literally not put anything on it if you can’t buy it in cash. And I’m aware that they fuck over poor people, but yeah, that’s the system that’s in place. This is advice for navigating it, which is how to obtain good credit which helps a lot.
Right like don’t make minimum payments, put your gas on your credit card then that same day pay the credit card company online then don’t worry about it for another month. It’s an absolutely shit system, but in the event of an emergency it’s good to have.
I have had to explain this to a lot of people in my life, but it’s true- no credit is the same as (or worse than!!!) bad credit. What having (and using) the card actually shows is that you are capable of (and actually follow through on) making regular payments: ie, it is proof of having a steady income (even if you do not actually have a steady income). It is showing you reliably can pay for things you purchase (you do the same thing with cash but there’s no record), and that if you borrow money you’re good for it when it comes time to repay, which is what your credit score is all about.
Think of it this way. You have a credit card, which is your credit tracking device. You use the card to tell someone “I will pay for this thing with borrowed money.” They agree to allow you to pay with borrowed money. You then turn around to your credit card company and say “Thank you for allowing me to borrow your money, I will now pay you back with my own money.” (which, if you repay them promptly enough, you can repay them the exact same amount you borrowed, rather than paying them more than you borrowed [which is what interest is])
The credit card company then recognizes that you successfully borrowed their money AND returned it safely, and they pass that information along to credit tracking companies. Each time you do this, you gain credibility. If you do this enough times, you are considered a credible borrower of money, so that if you ever are in a situation where you need to borrow a large sum of money (for example, a mortgage or a car or a hospital bill or whatever), companies with money will look at how well you have returned money in the past, and say Ah yes, this person repays their debts well, so we can lend them our money.
So like, do what the above folks are recommending. Get a credit card and use it to reasonably purchase things you already have to buy- put a batch of groceries on the card. Go home (or wherever you can use the internet), pay it off as if you had paid cash in the store for it. There is no extra fee or interest for doing this, and you are leveling up your credibility in case of emergency later on in life.
More shit in adult life they never tell you about in school
As someone who’s credit history was wiped to zero after an ex stole her identity.
Having no credit is significantly worse than having bad credit. I’ve been fortunate as of late and nothing bad has happened to me, and I’m set to inherit a house and the like. But, if say the furnace dies, or the hot water heater, or I get sick again (since my insurance company jacked my premiums to $1300/mo), I’m proper fucked.
One of the big suggestions my financial guy (I have some stocks and bonds, planning for retirement) suggested was, getting a secured credit card. Basically, it works like a normal credit card, but you put your own money down as a collateral/financing base (generally between $200-500), the financing bank/institution then puts their backing behind you. Secured cards have a near 100% approval rate for those of us with zero credit, whereas normal bank backed cards you are less likely to be approved.
I applied for one and got denied because I had low income…..
Shit I wish had been explained to me 10 years ago.
simple way to build credit: set up your monthly charges– cell, internet, Netflix, insurance– to be paid automatically on your credit card. Instead of paying each bill separately throughout the month, you pay off your one credit card bill.
My son just turned 18 (yesterday), we got him a credit card in his name that we are co-signers on. He’ll use it to get gas for the car we share and we’ll pay the bill each month. This way he can get a credit score.
If you have low income and can’t get a credit card on your own, see if you can get a co-signer. I co-signed on my sister’s first credit card, her first car loan, and her first 2 apartments.
All this. I have credit cards that I use as a 1-month delay-of-payment: I save up, buy it on my credit card (and get airline miles for the purchase!) and then pay for it at the end of the next month with the cash I’d saved beforehand. Ditto reoccurring fees – my monthly mobile and health care bills gets paid that way, automatically, so I never forget.
It takes a little bit of money management, in that you have to make sure the money STAYS PUT for that month, so you have it when needed, but it’s a way to play their game to your own benefit. You use their backing, but don’t pay them any interest on it.
(start with whatever POS card you can, then work your way up to one that offers rewards. they will eventually try to get you to increase your credit limits/offer you higher-term cards. Just Say No)
All of the “yes, get a fucking credit card and build your score” advice is good, as are the various plans to use it without incurring any hit to your actual cash flow, but I will offer one counterpoint to the lattermost bit of advice, and explain why you *want* to increase your credit limit.
One of the factors that goes into your score (it’s one of the biggest, depending on credit agency doing the reporting) is your debt-to-credit ratio; that is, if you have $500 in available credit, and a $100 balance (because you pay your electric and cell phone bills with it, for instance), your debt-to-credit ratio is 20% (100/500). If you talk to your credit company after you’ve been with them a while and say, “I’d like to see about increasing my credit limit,” and they see you’ve been on time with everything, they might bump you up tp $600, $750, or maybe even $1000…. if you keep that $100 monthly balance because your bills are consistent, will give you a ratio of 16.6%, 13.3%, or 10% – which makes your credit score go up, which means you can ask your credit card compaany to lower your interest rate, just in case you can’t pay your bill in full some month due to an emergency expense or whatever, so it’ll cost you less extra money if you have to do that.
But don’t take my word for it (yes, I work at a credit union, but I fix computers for a living) – here’s Equifax’ own explanation of how they calculate it: https://www.equifax.com/personal/education/credit/score/how-is-credit-score-calculated
There are a shitload of things that look at your credit score now that don’t necessarily have anything, overtly or obviously, to do with your ability to repay your debts. renting an apartment, especially from a management company rather than a local landlord – they’ll check it to see if you’re gonna be on time and pay in full. jobs in some sectors of the market – if you look like you’re hustling to make ends meet, that could be seen as leaving you vulnerable for bribes or potentially doing shady shit at work (yes, this is shitty, but yes, it’s the truth).
plus, having a strong credit history means you can get better terms when you buy a car or house or anything else of that nature – sparkling credit will literally cut your interest rate down by 60% or more compared to someone with bad credit… if that latter person can even get the loan at all.
This is all great advice and I’m grateful that you’ve all taken the time to explain this and I recognize that this is just how things work and that we have to deal but holy hell this whole thing just comes across as some dystopian nightmare bullshit wtf
To be totally fair: there are some ways around this.
One is quite literally never ever ever buying into the system of credit. A credit rating is basically a quantified record and reputation that says “how likely is this person to make good any instance of Not Paid In Full Up Front?”
That means that if you go to the hospital? You pay full in cash right there. Insurance is in and of itself a way of being in the credit system – it’s designed to make sure you’re covered if you suddenly don’t have the money you need Right Then and Right There. As the one poster above noted, it means no instalment plans post-facto: those are another system of credit, where whoever’s letting you make instalments has already given you the service the money pays for, but is TRUSTING that you’ll pay up in increments over a longer period of time. It’s literally credit. That’s what credit means.
It means never renting, because the way rent-laws work (designed, mind, so that landlords CAN’T just turf people out of their rental accommodation on no notice and leave them and all their belongings in the street because they don’t have The Full Amount on the first of the month) to rent you automatically buy into that system of credit. So the landlord wants, for good reason, to be reasonably sure that (since evicting you for non-payment would almost certainly going to be an involved process that extends through two months and thus cost the landlord two months’ loss of rent) you can keep paying that rent and they won’t end up with two months’ income Disappearing.
(And yeah sometimes the landlord is some big faceless corporation that could swallow the loss without blinking – but a lot of the time it’s not.)
It means buying a house in full, cash up front. It means replacing that house, in full, cash up front, yourself, should disaster befall it (like a fire or a flood or a hurricane).
It’s something that can be done, but it means literally existing with zero safety net of any kind, ever. Most people are not super keen on that. Most people would rather have margins; we’ve spent a lot of effort making society so that we do have margins, both in the formal welfare net sense and in this more mercenary sense.
Another way around it is to have someone who has good credit already who’s willing to cosign any of these things for you – someone who is willing to step in and lend you their reputation, effectively, by saying that if you fuck off without paying, they’ll put up the money. This can be a really great option if you have someone you trust and with whom you have a relationship that can and will withstand the potential strain of the finance-related stress.
It can also destroy relationships, leave you massively open to control and mistreatment by the person cosigning and, well, it can be pretty hard to find someone willing to cosign just out of the goodness of their heart especially as you get into bigger risk areas.
(So often it’ll be: okay son, I’ll cosign, but if you ever sell that car I get the money. Or okay sister, I’ll cosign, but I say who gets to live in the house. Etc. Sometimes that’s fine. Sometimes it’s poison.)
So it’s a kind of weigh-your-options thing.