this is easily the best one. the slight facial expression change once he finishes talking. the horribly unnatural fall into the water.
the nailed swimming animations.
Since my other Andalite sketches were doing the rounds again, I got thinking about them again and threw around a slightly more refined concept. Or rather, refined in some aspects. Under a cut for length…
Last night I dreamt I was helping to film a commercial for socks. It began with a woman sitting on the side of a large green pond, dangling her feet over the edge. A monster a la the creature of the black lagoon swims over and grabs her feet, trying to drag her into the water. There’s screaming and splashing and she manages to escape onto the bank. The monster swims away and the camera zooms in on its delighted face as it slips the woman’s stolen socks on over its flippers. The tag line “anything for a little softness in life” appears in fancy white cursive text superimposed over the scene as it fades to the sock company’s logo.
I was really proud of this commercial and the effort that had gone into the monster costume, but it was rejected for TV because it reminded people of wet socks.
That commercial would make me want to buy those socks. Not even kidding.
that commercial would make me want to buy those socks not even kidding
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Quite a number of people seem to be annoyed by the final chapter in the Animorphs story. There are a lot of complaints that I let Rachel die. That I let Visser Three/One live. That Cassie and Jake broke up. That Tobias seems to have been reduced to unexpressed grief. That there was no grand, final fight-to-end-all-fights. That there was no happy celebration. And everyone is mad about the cliffhanger ending.
So I thought I’d respond.
Animorphs was always a war story. Wars don’t end happily. Not ever. Often relationships that were central during war, dissolve during peace. Some people who were brave and fearless in war are unable to handle peace, feel disconnected and confused. Other times people in war make the move to peace very easily. Always people die in wars. And always people are left shattered by the loss of loved ones.
That’s what happens, so that’s what I wrote. Jake and Cassie were in love during the war, and end up going their seperate ways afterward. Jake, who was so brave and capable during the war is adrift during the peace. Marco and Ax, on the other hand, move easily past the war and even manage to use their experience to good effect. Rachel dies, and Tobias will never get over it. That doesn’t by any means cover everything that happens in a war, but it’s a start.
Here’s what doesn’t happen in war: there are no wondrous, climactic battles that leave the good guys standing tall and the bad guys lying in the dirt. Life isn’t a World Wrestling Federation Smackdown. Even the people who win a war, who survive and come out the other side with the conviction that they have done something brave and necessary, don’t do a lot of celebrating. There’s very little chanting of ‘we’re number one’ among people who’ve personally experienced war.
I’m just a writer, and my main goal was always to entertain. But I’ve never let Animorphs turn into just another painless video game version of war, and I wasn’t going to do it at the end. I’ve spent 60 books telling a strange, fanciful war story, sometimes very seriously, sometimes more tongue-in-cheek. I’ve written a lot of action and a lot of humor and a lot of sheer nonsense. But I have also, again and again, challenged readers to think about what they were reading. To think about the right and wrong, not just the who-beat-who. And to tell you the truth I’m a little shocked that so many readers seemed to believe I’d wrap it all up with a lot of high-fiving and backslapping. Wars very often end, sad to say, just as ours did: with a nearly seamless transition to another war.
So, you don’t like the way our little fictional war came out? You don’t like Rachel dead and Tobias shattered and Jake guilt-ridden? You don’t like that one war simply led to another? Fine. Pretty soon you’ll all be of voting age, and of draft age. So when someone proposes a war, remember that even the most necessary wars, even the rare wars where the lines of good and evil are clear and clean, end with a lot of people dead, a lot of people crippled, and a lot of orphans, widows and grieving parents.
If you’re mad at me because that’s what you have to take away from Animorphs, too bad. I couldn’t have written it any other way and remained true to the respect I have always felt for Animorphs readers.”
Luke dies in his fight with the Emperor before Vader has a chance to save him.
This breaks Vader, to the point where he just fucking leaves the Empire and goes off to find Leia “there is another” Organa and what remains of the Rebellion.
And he shows up on Leia’s doorstep, to which Leia shoots him immediately. “Okay that’s fair,” he says, wheezing and holding his wired shoulder in pain.
“What do you want?” she says, this time aiming the blaster at his head. “Answer quickly.”
He tosses her Luke’s lightsaber. “This should belong to you. He would want you to have it.” He coughs, “And I want to join the Rebellion.”
Leia lowers her gun very carefully. “Explain.”
“What is there to explain?” Vader stands fully, towering over Leia. “He killed my son. I want the Emperor dead. At this point, I no longer care what government replaces him so long as the man who murdered my son is dead.”
Leia thinks I can work with that.
So you have Leia here steadfastly ignoring Obi-Wan and Yoda’s ghosts who follow her around spouting Jedi nonsense, of which she refuses to listen to unless they let her talk to Luke, who instead turns to Darth Vader to learn the ways of the Force. “Lost, all hope is” except it isn’t.
Because you have Darth “Probably Not A Dark Sider Anymore But Also Wouldn’t Call Him a Jedi” Vader and Leia “Anger Is My Middle Name But I’m Also Firmly In the Light” Organa teaming up and wrecking havok on literally everything. Seriously, there are whole planets on fire.
Vader teaches Leia the Force, and they never bring up the fact that they are related if they can help it (which means, inevitably, that they end up talking about it occasionally: “You look like your mother,” “…What was she like?” v. “I see now why Obi-Wan didn’t train you. You couldn’t be more my daughter if you tried. Poor Bail…I can only imagine what you were like as a child.” with Leia sputtering “HOW DARE”).
meanwhile Han Solo is following them holding a baby Ben (who, I imagine, is now named Luke) going “guys? guys? i don’t understand. why is darth vader here. leia why haven’t you shot him. leia can I shoot him? leia we should probably not set this planet on fir–okay, so we’re setting this place on fire. cool cool cool”
in the afterlife, Obi-Wan and Yoda are mourning about how ALL IS LOST while Padme and Luke are drinking mimosas and laughing because they knew there was good there all along.
thisacelovesheadcanons 