Because I am a barely-domesticated savage who gives GREAT PRESENTS, and also I figured that you would take this in the spirit it was intended, ie MASS HILARITY, I bought you this thing. My suggestion: sit on the porch while eating it?
I’m taking it to work tomorrow.
Being friends with me is rolling the dice between getting a fandom tshirt, erotic art, some sort of craft item, or chocolate genitalia as random presents