Man, when I was like 16 I got so sick of being made fun of for being the fat kid that I took an axe down inna woods, chopped down a tree, and started doing log-lifts all the time. I got strong as fuck, but I didn’t lose no weight. I actually got bigger.
Same thing happened when I got into fighting. I got even stronger, and I got *fast*, man, and nimble, like a cat. Still chubby.
Body-building culture is a bunch of crap, my dude. Functional muscle is not necessarily toned or lean. You can be swole as hell and still be heavy. And that’s cool.
Embrace your inner barbarian. And when fatphobic little gym twinks try to body shame you, you should DESTROY THEM with your MIGHTY AXE
Can comfirm, i am Quite Fat ™ but i still hit my punching bag hard enough last week make it touch the ceiling and broke a finger in the process
You know, I train with (martial arts) a bunch of dudes, and a few bodybuilders have showed up over the years.
And every damn one of those huge shredded motherfuckers has the endurance of a fucking newborn puppy. Fifteen minutes into warmups and they’re panting for air like like they’re about to die. I’ve sparred them and every one of them telegraphs their moves about two weeks in advance, and are slower than my dead grandpa because their huge useless muscles get in the damn way.
Now. I also work with a couple of guys who are not weightlifters. They do, however, do very physical jobs and are Big Dudes. Picture this sort of build.
No abs to speak of, a bit of a tummy, and those motherfuckers can pick up one of the weightlifters and throw them.
And they’re fast. Like, unfair fast.
Bodybuilding culture is bullshit. Embrace your status as a giant barbarian and if anyone gives you crap throw them off a mountain.
The same for the other way too sometimes, I mean I look scrawny as shit, I’m very narrow, people regularly call me a “twig” but I’m essentially all wirey muscle lol and can lift trees over my head… you don’t have to be toned and have all your muscles bulging to be strong and half the time I can outlift all the cis guys who want to try to “help me out” with lifting shit
KNOW YOUR BODY TYPE
What does this look like in real people you may ask?
ENDOMORPHS ARE THE STRONGEST BODY TYPE. MESOMORPHS SHOW OFF MUSCLE REALLY WELL, BUT ENDOMORPHS CRUSH THEM ALMOST EVERY TIME.
ENDOMORPHS ARE NOT FAT JUST BECAUSE THEY LACK DEFINITION MEET THE STRONGEST MEN AND WOMEN IN THE WORLD:
Edward Hall is an English professional strongman, notable for being the current World’s Strongest Man and the only man to deadlift 500 kg (1,102.3 lbs) under strongman rules. He has also won on multiple occasions both the UK’s Strongest Man and England’s Strongest Man titles. He is the 2017 World’s Strongest Man[2] and the current world record holder in the deadlift with straps.[3]
Donna Moore
Arnold Amateur World Strongwoman Championship 2016 Winner Europes Strongest Woman 2015 Europes Most Powerful Woman 2014 Britain’s Strongest Woman 2014 & 2015 Arnold Strongwoman World Championship 2015 5th Atlas Stone World Record Holder 148.9kg x 2
Max Deadlift (kg)240 Max Bench (kg)120 Log (kg)110
Hafthor Bjornsson (Yes, the actor from Game of Thrones)
Top Three finisher for the Worlds Strongest Man, as well as being crowned Iceland’s Strongest Man in 2011 and 2012. His Squat record is 250kg, his Bench Press 230kg and his Deadlift 420kg.
In Febuaray 2015, Hafþór smashed a 1,000 year old record by carrying a 1,433lbs (649kg) 30-foot long log on his shoulders for five steps in the World’s Strongest Viking competition in Norway.
Kristin Rhodes
Heavyweight Pro American Strongwoman 7 time winner of America’s Strongest Woman. In 2012 I Won WSW. Winner of 2014 and 2015 Arnold Strongwoman World Champion. World Record Log press of 250 lbs or 113.4 kg in 2014, runner up in the 2017 World’s Strongest Woman competition.
Max Deadlift (kg)229
THEY ARE NOT FAT, THEY ARE PURE WHOOP ASS.
LETS LOOK AT OLYMPIAN WEIGHTLIFTERS SHALL WE?!?!
MESOMORPHS AREN’T THE ONLY BODY TYPE WHO CAN BE STRONG AF
Very interesting post.
We fighters only care about the ability and willingness to fight.
the purpose of having a name for the flavor of your product is to tell me what flavor your product is
apparently, nobody ever told you this, and so you think the purpose of naming flavors is to sound like Death Knight talents
I don’t know what Icy Charge tastes like but I’m pretty sure it’s going to move me into melee with my target and slow their movement speed by 75% for 3 seconds
One day, you lose your wallet, and it is found by a mob boss, who figures out that you aren’t in such a good place financially, and takes pity on you. So they start anonymously sending cash, clothes, and furniture to you in the mail, eventually, the mob boss sends you a letter to stating that they bought you a house, and it lists an adress. What do you do?
In this economy? Thank them politely, pledge your loyalty, and join the mob.
infinity war is a dumb movie cause why would you bother all those heroes to fight thanos when all you have to do is get ant-man inside his asshole, make him grow back to his normal size and that’s it purple joss whedon is dead
I hate in the MCU or anything when the aliens or whatever are attacking and everyone’s just ‘oh yeah we be chilling just cowering over here’ as if seventy percent of humanity isn’t really angry all the time like catch these hands motherfucker I’ve bitten people for trying to steal my chips you think you can just steal my whole fucking planet YEET HERE COME MY TEETH film people be using responses to natural disasters but I promise if human sized things came to throw down humanity would be ready to fuck them up like yeah you got laser guns I got this dope ass stick I just found let’s go you ugly fuck
silentwalrus1: #yeah bicht!!!!!!#gimme the battle of new york with fuckin chitauri comin down and the shift manager of the times sq H&M has finally had Enough#Tracie bout to kill this alien with a traffic cone#’ JUST PRETEND THEY’RE TOURISTS’ she screams choking out goddamn Lizard Lite with her lanyard#10 feet away a park slope mom is beating an alien to death with her four year old’s knockoff eco friendly razr scooter#every single retail employee gets ten years’ worth of therapy in one day#captain america’s kill count: 83 aliens#kathleen from accounting: 94 and also her boss
They met a Demon at a crossroads, he said they had to make a deal with him or he would steal their souls. The Fighter was like, “Hey can you just wait for 5 seconds for me?”
Demon’s like: “Alright.”
Five seconds later the Fighter says “Alright our deal is complete”
???
“What do you mean our deal is complete?” said the Demon
“Well I asked you to wait 5 seconds, then you agreed. Since you waited 5 seconds, that means our deal is complete right?”
The Demon is in shock, and so am I, the DM. This fighter just out-tricked a freakin’ demon deal by telling the demon to cool his heels for a moment I couldn’t believe it.
And this is when the demon decides to becoming a recurring pest to the party, or a legitimate threat
He actually did, he sent a “bounty hunter” chain devil named Gnev after the party.
thisacelovesheadcanons 