Consider: a tundra that was breed-changed to a mirror. Still has poor eyesight, but rather than identifying people by smell, it tells them apart by taste.
Cue fluffy Mirror running around licking strangers.
You have a hobby of collecting rocks the size of a ball. One day you come back home to see one of your rocks broken apart and you see a small dragon inside.
Essential components of any fantasy rolepaying group:
The player who brings exactly the same swishy elf character to every table; 50% chance of wizard, 50% chance of bard, 100% chance of banging a dragon before the campaign is done.
The player who favours dwarves because they’re uncomfortable with speaking in character and dwarves aren’t expected to have personalities.
The player who thinks they’re cleverly subverting expectations by playing their halfling as a bloodthirsty, sexually promiscuous drug fiend, unaware that – thanks to players like them – literally 80% of all halfling player characters are like that.
The player who designs their character purely for novelty value – like, this time they’re a giant telepathic praying mantis, or whatever – yet inexplicably manages to have the deepest character arc out of anyone.
The player whose character’s stats honestly don’t matter because their real contribution to the party is being the only adult in the room.
when i first downloaded the free trial my 14 year old self was fucking blown away when i discovered the forsaken. the idea of being able to play as a badass zombie lady was, at that moment, the absolute coolest thing i could possibly conceive of. so my very first character was a female undead warrior. or maybe a rogue?? idk pointy melee weapons were involved
anyway fast forward to 2011, my parents just bought me my first wow sub and i decided i would make another rad undead lady
i was super excited, but my starting zone experience was not great. a really annoying dude who had also just made a new undead toon would not leave me the fuck alone, and he frequently followed me as i tried to quest in peace. even though i was trying my hardest to not acknowledge him he just wouldnt go away. not only that, but he talked at me the whole goddamn time about whatever inane shit happened to pop into his head
when i was just about done with the starting zone i couldnt take it anymore and turned to face him. i told him politely but firmly that i wanted to play wow by myself, that i didnt need help or anything, and that i would really like it if he just left me alone.
The best cover for Bruce Wayne would be dumb carefree playboy who is also Instagram Optimistic, everyday he’s posting a selfie of his smiling at his breakfast with a caption like “it’s a waffle day! #goodvibesingotham #grateful” or a picture of a sunrise with a caption that’s just “wow #blessed”
Bruce Wayne ending up as Gotham’s favoured son because he may be an idiot, but he’s a cheerful idiot, and he donates tons to charity and genuinely loves Gotham and actually, truthfully does put a lot back into the city. And his instagram is a bright ray of sunshine, and honestly there are a lot of people in the city who get surprisingly defensive of their Dumb Carefree Playboy because, okay, sure, every month or so Bruce Wayne falls off a yacht or sleeps with a reporter or whatever. The man clearly never met a healthy coping skill even once in his life.
But as far as news regarding Gotham’s prominent citizens go, Bruce’s ‘scandals’ are so normal that it’s downright refreshing. When a headline has ‘Bruce Wayne’ in the title, you know you’re either going to read some Celebrity Gossip level non-drama, or else something to do with a charity. Maybe he’s been kidnapped again, but that’s only happened a few times. Bruce Wayne news is like the Gotham equivalent to special reports about dogs who rescue their owners from drowning, or raccoons who’ve figured out how to get past the new self-locking garbage can lids.
And there’s something weirdly reassuring about following his twitter. Like, if Bruce Wayne is tweeting about a really neat old tree he just saw, things must at least be sort of alright.
(Meanwhile, Bruce’s social media persona is 100% him flanderizing Clark.)
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