prokopetz:

Miscellaneous D&D physiology headcanons:

  • Halflings can stuff their cheeks like hamsters. It looks really gross.
  • Dwarves are immune to alcohol poisoning and can’t actually get drunk; “dwarven ale” is an elaborate and improbably successful practical joke.
  • Elves have a part of their brain devoted to detecting sarcasm.
  • Orcs respond to umami/savory flavours the same way that humans respond to sweet ones; the taste of cheese is mildly addictive to them.
  • Gnomes can smell fear.

yourplayersaidwhat:

Our lawful-good druid: “Can I use animal gains human intellect on my animal companion riding dog?”

DM: *chuckles* “You can try.”

*druid rolls*

DM: “You succeed!”

Fast forward the “dog” demands gear once he milks the druid dry he then replies “I’ll get it my way.”

Our druid: “I was so preoccupied with whether or not I could I never stopped to think if I should.”

*entire table breaks out laughing.*

abomination-station:

timefortigers:

timefortigers:

abomination-station:

the sexy monster genre may not be my thing, but I do have a certain respect for what Guillermo Del Toro is doing with the shape of water, because while cowardly media like twilight will remove all signs of monster qualities to make vampires sexy underwear models, Guillermo is just full tilt “this creepy fish man is sexy, this woman wants to fuck the creepy fish man. she wants to lick his gills or some shit and that’s ok. fish fucking is valid” like I’m not into it, but goddamnit if I do not respect the boldness of it. go big or go home

GUILLERMO DEL TORO DOESNT GO FAR ENOUGH. THAT FISH MAN STILL LOOKS LIKE A MAN. HE HAS HUMAN PROPORTIONS. A HUMAN BUTT. FEEBLE

“go big or go home” THE SEXY FISH MOVIE FALLS A LONG WAY SHORT OF “GO BIG”. GO HOME GUILLERMO. COME BACK WHEN YOUVE COMBINED THE SHAPE OF WATER AND PACIFIC RIM INTO A 2 HOUR LONG MASSIVELY BUDGETED KAIJU FUCKING NIGHTMARE

disteal:

disteal:

disteal:

Scrapped comic concept: Sombra deconstructing the inherent failures of an imperialist, undemocratic global military force steeped in 6 feet of bitchy drama disguised as

bureaucratic infighting that 100% earned its bullet and better not fuckin come back. 

Sombra just stickin legs out in front of authoritarian power hustlers lets go

image

u thought i was done